Deserving

So, I guess, I’m writing to say that I deserve this. All of the wonderful things that life has to offer. I deserve a vacation. I deserve peace and love. I deserve to be waited on and cared for. I deserve hospitality. I deserve rest. I deserve time and attention. I deserve attentiveness. I deserve to not beat myself up. I deserve to be gentle and forgiving with myself. I deserve not to compare myself to others. I deserve not to isolate myself. I deserve not to withdraw from the people that love me. I deserve not to be so hard on myself. I deserve to banish perfection. Because I can get in me head. Because I can quickly start to spiral. Because somehow I got it in my head that I needed to earn my worth. I wasn’t aware that I already obtained value. `Pushing my body past its limits. Following someone else’s path. Forgetting who I am. I often expect perfection. I judge myself by my productivity. I allow my self-worth to get lost. I give other people permission to dictate who I am. I allow my creativity to become stifled. I won’t write or listen to my favorite songs because I should be “busy” “bettering” myself. When loving myself right here in the moment should be my only option. Not the better version of me. I should just love me. And I should embrace and accept the fact that I am worthy regardless of my mistakes. In spite of “life” wearing me down. I can still wear my very own crown.

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